I just wanted to tell you I loved your post about breaking up with an ex!! I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years a month ago and I am having such a hard time. I was always good to him and have helped raise his four year old daughter for the past three years. We also lived together and talked about marriage. He was great for the first two years, but this past year he stopped taking me on dates. There was hardly any communication and so much baby mama drama. ICK! Last month, he left his Facebook open on accident and I saw a bunch of messages he exchanged with other girls about hanging out, advertising that I just left for work for the night, etc. I was devastated!
Now he is totally playing head games with me and I can’t believe I am allowing it. He is either ignoring me or texting me about how much he loved me and how I “threw it all away.” He doesn’t want to see or talk to me right now because he doesn’t know what to say. Everyone has been to blame BUT him. It’s awful. And I’m even more mad at myself for allowing it and missing him. WTF?!
Your message broke my heart. This guy sucks. I actually went through something similar in college, minus the whole kid part. I highly recommend reading “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” Every girl needs to read this – wifed up or not. It really put things into perspective and opened up my eyes. Stay away from the sappy love songs and tearjerkers for at least a solid three months.
Trust me when I say to cut it off now. Anyone who disrespects you like that – male or female does not deserve to be in YOUR life. You deserve to get what you give. It’s not easy and it might not be easy for a couple months or until you find someone that worships what you got. There is a guy out there searching for everything you have – you just haven’t found each other yet and that’s okay!!! It will be happen.
Your ex wants to have his cake and eat it too, but what you need to do is shove it in his face. Don’t respond. If you must, your messages are short. You’re busy. You really don’t have time for this dude OR to be sad. Life is short. When you’re on your death bed, you’re not going to be saying, “Man I really wish I cried a couple more tears over so-and-so.” (That always puts things into perspective for me.)
This guy feels super guilty – and rightfully so, but he wouldn’t be in this position if he didn’t screw up. He’s playing the blame game so the blow isn’t so hard on him. He’ll always hold a special place in your heart, but he’s not “The One.” Give yourself a huge hug for doing the first step – BREAKING IT OFF. You’re one month in. It’s time to walk away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.
The Lease Agreement